The Truth about ConsequencesBy Stephanie Hoepner Rocky got out of the canoe in a huff. "I'm not carryin' nuthin'" she repeated, arms crossed and hip out to the side in the classic stance of teenage resistance. Rocky's appearance was deceiving. Standing tall and lean, off trail in clothes you might see in a rap video, she usually wore a stone hard look on her face that told you instantly not to mess with her. Her demeanor betrayed her young age only by the occasional outburst of giggles and a sweet shyness that would surprise you when you bumped into it. That day I forgot that Rocky was a sweet shy teen. I was pissed. "If you won't carry our group gear, then you won't use it" I stated coldly, "you can sleep under the tarp tonight". I picked up a duluth pack and proceeded down the portage trail. Now I had done it. I felt awful. I had let my anger overshadow my compassion. I didn't want Rock to sleep outside. It had been unseasonably cold and wet for August and I knew by the way the girls snuggled close together in their tent they were afraid here in the dark wilderness at night. We had placed Rocky in perhaps the most physically demanding circumstance of her young life. We had been paddling in a torrential downpour and then high winds for hours, finally landing on our portage which was long and rugged. Of course Rocky was crabby, outside of her comfort zone, tired of adults, still mostly strangers, critiquing her paddle strokes, yelling "paddle harder!" above the screaming wind, asking her to do chores and the endless other new and to her, bizarre, things she had been asked to learn and do in the past few days. Yet, here we were; our little team was smack in the middle of a wilderness expedition. We were all tired and someone was refusing to do their share on the toughest day. Here was a teachable moment on teamwork and tenacity if ever there was one. I held my ground. So did she. As her nickname suggests, Rocky is not prone to letting herself get knocked down in a fight. Rocky did not carry a single item across that portage, despite my clever consequence. That's the thing about wilderness expeditions, like life, despite the best of plans and training, they are completely fluid. Sure, group dynamics, teen behavior and expedition travel follow predictable patterns, but each group of individuals is as unique as the members' fingerprints, and each wilderness trip as random and varied as the clouds in the sky. Decisions demand to be made moment to moment, and often require flexibility and patience as situations, conditions and people unfold. The feeling in the pit of my stomach told me this consequence (or punishment some might say) was not right for this girl on this day in this moment. I listened to my gut. Rocky did not carry a single item across the portage, but the other girls did. They rallied, carrying more than their usual loads across the portage to the next lake without complaint. Compassion still in tact, Jas, another of the teens, came to me and made an appeal for Rocky ("oh she's not usually like that, she's just tired right now, and stubborn."), assuming a leadership position among the group that continued for the remainder of the trip. Whether it was the sure knowledge she really was in trouble, or inspired by her teammates' valiant efforts, Rocky was a champ on the following portage, carrying her share across to the next lake and offering to go back for more gear. After conferencing with my fellow adult leaders, we allowed Rocky to earn back the privilege of sleeping beneath the nylon dome that was shelter and comfort during our adventure by portaging the rest of the day and completing her camp chores that night. With the help, encouragement and maybe even demanding of her teammates, she did. The next morning we had a conversation about what it means to be part of a group, the responsibility we have to do our share for that group and the feelings created when one member takes too much. or does too little. I promised the girls I did not wish to be the 'enforcer of punishments' on our trip, but instead would let them know what the group needed to accomplish, and they could choose how to get it done, as long as we were all safe. As a group we would suffer the natural consequences if we did not travel well and each do our share: getting to camp late and traveling farther in the afternoon, when the wind was stronger. That was not the final verbal boxing match with Rocky during our trip, but I knew after that incident the girls got it. They recognized when people were or were not pulling their weight, they saw the impact on themselves and the group and they struggled to find ways to keep each other and themselves moving and motivated. And they did. Despite a week of cold, wet weather and high winds, we completed our entire route, in style and with a lot of laughter; without shortcuts. As for me, I was reminded of the importance of patience, both with the teens and with my own developing skills, and of the words of the great experiential educator, Bob Pieh: "Be tough yet gentle, humble yet bold, swayed always by beauty and truth", especially that 'tough yet gentle' part. THE END.Stephanie and Rocky participated in BCM's first girl's trip into Minnesota's million acre Boundary Waters Canoe Area Wilderness during an unseasonably cold and windy week in August.
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